Whoa

It. Happened.

     Ever since we landed in Tel Aviv, I have been waiting. Waiting for something to happen. An epiphany, a eureka moment, an emotional experience with the Holy Land. Some of you may have noticed a negative tone throughout my updates. I apologize for this, but I have to admit that it didn't take long for me to wish I was home. I was disappointed in the big, unfriendly cities, the churches and mosques covering the good stuff, and most of all myself. Was I a defective Christian for not having that moment? Was something wrong with me because I wanted to leave?
     I may never have the emotional experience I expected, but today that became okay. There's nothing wrong with me. I don't love Jesus less because I didn't cry(not counting the Holocaust museum of course). But I can continually discover the lessons available to me through my experiences in Israel. Today was a great example.
     I was standing in church this morning singing "Jesus is all the world to me". Suddenly, I had this awareness of the truth. A little background is necessary.
     The orthodox Jewish lifestyles I saw in Israel was like stepping back in time. We were transported back into the Old Testament, the laws, the traditions, the culture. The broken relationship with God. Paul tells us that the law shows us that we need a Messiah, shows us just how screwed up we are. There are plenty of examples, but I was most interested in the relationships between men and women. In devout Jewish communities, a married woman is expected to either cover her hair or shave her head and wear a wig. This keeps her from being attractive to any man but her husband. Birth control is a negative ghost rider, so women grow old before their time caring for huge families. At the Western Wall, the place that Jews believe to be as close to the presence of God as you can get, the women have less than half as much room as the men to worship. A Jewish woman lives oppressed, ignored, and excluded from the worship of her God.
     As I stood in church this morning, I rejoiced that I was allowed to participate. I was overwhelmed by the knowledge that Jesus is indeed all the world to me. I realized how absolutely vital he is to me. Without him, I'm a nobody. Without him, I don't count. Without him, I have no voice. I have important things to do with my life. I can actively participate in worshiping God, in serving his people, in sharing his good news. Motherhood is beautiful and I hope to someday experience it, but I thank God that I am worth more than that. I saw today who my savior is. I saw what he rescued me from.
     I believe that this was only the beginning of the things I will learn from my trip. I hope that you will continue to read, because I will continue to post. Harpatkah'ah doesn't end when you get home. Adventure lasts a lifetime, woman or not. Bring it.